You don’t know what it’s like to have someone leave you. To feel thwarted each time you tried to reconnect; to be ignored for years and left for dead. You thought I hated you for leaving me. I thought so too. But it was me I hated.

I hated myself for being so bad you had to go. For driving you away by doing nothing but being myself.

It takes a rare kind of love; a stupid kind of courage to make your way back into their life and to love them with all you have knowing full well that they could leave you again. And probably will.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Sarah says:

    in case you check and wonder who spent so much time on your blog, ’twas me. falling in and out and in and out of love with someone/something at a frightening rate. your words are SO familiar. I am nostalgic. and I really spell my name with an ‘H’ at the end.


    1. mentalexotica says:

      Sarah, the human experience is a common one, as much as we would like to think we are all so incredibly different. The core of what shapes us is essentially the same set of experiences, or lack thereof. Don’t you think? I love that you have spent time here. It makes me feel not quite so alone. x


      Sent from my iPhone


  2. Sarah says:

    very true.
    I feel the Internet has made us less alone and more lonely.


  3. mentalexotica says:

    It is the double-edged sword of the virtual world, yes.


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