“I am my own worst enema.” – Pseud Freud


In Uganda, calling a woman ‘fat cow’ is considered a compliment.
Do not try this at home.


Staying hungry is a bad idea. After a point everything looks good.
Later still, everything starts looking like food…  Here kitty, kitty.


When my eyes get droopy & my mouth drops open in an attractive, primal fashion, it is a sign I’m dozing.
Do not feed the Hippos.


Food is a four-letter word. Like diet.
I feel like the English language has betrayed me.


I can hear a baby here somewhere howling stupidly and I haven’t had breakfast.
These are not good omens.


Ooh look, it’s 29 minutes past midnight.
Also known as eating Nutella straight out of the jar o’ clock.


Sausages for dinner were not a good idea.
Several loo visits later I’m thinking, with franks like these who needs enemas?

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