the multiple choice answers: a) physical compatibility b) intellectual compatibility c) comfort zone d) shared purpose e) anything but the big love is blasphemy f) endless rainbow string, one big love at a time.
my pencil shuffles somewhere between a) and b) but settles on d) instead. shared purpose, shared work ethic, without it other fusion amounts to naught…for the likes of us. cold, reflective, precise. we routinely do the appalling: choose interesting instead of good. detached and stimulating instead of effusive and unstimulating. letters instead of physical contact. short fierce connections rather than the tedium of tepid exchange. even if these choices mean leaving the room when a conversation is done, to return to an empty space where there is nothing but a work table abuzz with illusion and promise.
cold, reflective, precise, we believe in history. we live to distill and dissect and make sense of the fuzzy tangle in our palm. egged on by notions of continuity, of legacy. there’s not enough time. move. burn. search. what’s so great about loving your parent or sibling or partner? it’s the minimum of minimals, we are designed to be able to manage that much to safeguard mental and material security. must be more important things to aspire for than chirping rituals of domesticity, ageing and death.
of course there is a chance that we got it all wrong, and that everything is in the myopic detail. but while we are cocky and able bodied, we must attempt the grandiose. if we fail, we may implode with cynicism, or with a full stop.‘