My necessary hunger

Teach me words I can use to love you with. Help my mouth meet new shapes and sounds, form them between my teeth, and blow into them life and love. Helen, I go back to your voice notes again and again. It is like a dying man in a desert finally having had sight of…

If you are looking for a sign, this is not a sign.

This is an emergency. Moments of startling clarity and then, nothing. Days spent with you a fog in my brain. My mouth full of sounds that mean nothing in a room where silence reigns. I am collecting words like memories because my words and I, we don’t speak anymore. You’re no longer here and there…

Burying

Thunder in my chest Earth under my nails I dig a grave For my own heart

Saltwater lover

You are saltwater Tears, sting, and ocean spray My perfect thirst.

Let her have roses

More than anything tonight I want to give you roses. But not another’s words or laments. Not another’s passion. My own. To pluck a seed from my chest and bury it into the black fecund earth and wait for love to take root. I would lay with my belly flush against this soil and whisper…

Come on in, 2022

I wish you cause for great laughter. Genuine connection. Deep conversations. Authenticity in all your encounters. I wish you joy – pure, unadulterated. And peace – quiet within and calm without. May you chance upon fleeting moments of excruciating beauty. Sunsets upon sunsets. Cool breezes on the warmest days, sunshine on the coldest. Ice cream…

A god of one’s own

I wanted a god of my own We would be, my god and I, impeccable in our fallibility I wanted a god who rode bicycles and cooked breakfast Burnt her fingers and held them to my lips A god who came home late waking me with her perfume Reaching for me in the fumbling dark…

Book Review: How Many Countries Does The Indus Cross by Akhil Katyal

How Many Countries Does The Indus Cross by Akhil Katyal My rating: 5 of 5 stars ‪Sitting dumbfounded after having read this whole book in one go. ‬‪Such a conundrum. Should I take bite-sized morsels and leave some for later? Or ask for the avalanche?‬ ‪The avalanche. Always the drowning. Always the surrender. ‬ As…

Leaving town

It’s been a while since we met here, hasn’t it? I’m sorry I don’t do this oftener. It feels not dissimilar to gutting myself with a cheese knife. It’s not for lack of things to say, words, or even how I feel. It’s just measly armour. So pathetic. Always prided myself on such courage but I…

A good book is worth the ruin

Once, I could not imagine that a book might hurt me.   It’s like this. Not much different. Reading, like lovemaking, is among our most private of pleasures. An act that asks for you to leave your armour at the door and wear only your vulnerability. Books and their secrets. Books and the secrets they cannot keep. Like…