You sound like I wake up in the middle of the night, a somnambulist, who deadwalks to my computer to write. You sound like me bleeding quietly in the dark. You are like me saying everything I am trying so hard to drown inside of me in the day time. Things so profoundly sad and […]
Your books are maps. This is what I understood. I never went anywhere without a poem lest I lose myself in places where girls like me should not be lost. Places like the cleavage. Or clavicles. Places like love. Or worse – possession. Places like wounds that must be tended to, and places […]
If there is one thing I have learned about the sense of utter desolation at the end of love, this is it: it is never about that one person. It is rarely even about anyone else. If you feel empty it is not because someone has left you. It is because you have left you.
In this deathly quiet I notice everything. How the air feels and tastes. The hum of silence against my skin. It’s icy warmth. I notice the sounds I hear. Where my stomach is inside my body and unease it nudges at me. I notice of the way the blood moves underneath my skin. I am […]
There are some nights that the thought of you or even your name do not leave the sleeve of my shirt alone. It pulls like a kitten. Tonight is like that. I no longer question if it is you trying to reach me, to communicate. I am flooded with desire to see you. To […]
Whenever you ask the rhetorical question of, “where do I begin?”, the answer is almost always and immediately, “at the start.” But what if you do not remember when it all started, or how? What if you cannot recall the way things began to fall apart in a way that felt as if it were […]
Nobody ever speaks of the little things. What about the little things? The mole on my neck you took for keeps; the perfect bow of your lips I called dibs on? Who do those parts of us belong to now? Is it possible to give away something twice? Would I even want to? With you […]
Lead me to the Arjuna in me. Lead me to the warrior within. Remind me, divine charioteer, why I am here, and why I am fighting the one I love. Remind me again, why there is no other path left to take. Remind me of the real war: the one we spar with our own […]
Everything I am doing says I love you. I hope you’re reading this. I hope you hear it between your ears. I hope you know. Because I know if you did you’d never let me know.
Twenty-four hours. I have sailed on a raft of emptiness through a vacuum consisting of measured time that swung like a pendulum between endlessness and eternity. I’ve never been to the bottom of the ocean but in my mind I go often. The cool stillness, the deep dark black of the blue. The soundless silence. That ocean is inside me as much as I am inside of it. Here, there are no tears and no sound of crying. Here there is just saltwater and where the ghostly moans of despair go to die.