‘I am strong. I am invincible. I am anti-perspirant.’ – Pseud Freud

~ ‘I’ve been thinking about it and I really don’t see why a ceiling fan cannot be referred to as a revolver.’ ~ Marriage sounds like a real walk in the park. Jurassic Park. ~ I look terrible this morning. In fact, I haven’t looked so bad since… yesterday morning. ~ Pseud Freud: ‘I told […]

‘I dare. I have balls of steel wool.’ – Pseud Freud

~ Marzipan is disgusting. It’s like the edible variant of marzipan. ~ I tried having phone sex the other night. Not only is it very painful but now my phone isn’t speaking to me either. ~ Love Story is a crock of shit. Had Erich Segal really been in love he’d know that all you’re […]

‘I’d be myself if it weren’t so much trouble.’ – Pseud Freud

~ Do not judge a book by its cover. Unless it’s entitled Homeward Harlot or something, then I guess it’s okay. ~ If it’s sleep you need I suggest lying down. Hitting beds and sacks is unnecessarily violent and will only make them resentful. ~ Prostitutes in the Navy! Serving the semen! ~ I’d rather […]