Kim Kardashian says she is in no hurry to get into a relationship. Yeah well, relationships are in no hurry to get into Kim Kardashian either. The Kardashians sisters are planning to write a book. Next, Aishwarya Rai will be planning to act & Tiger Woods will plan on being monogamous.
Category: Pseud Freud
My wise-assed alter-ego waxes ineloquence
‘I’m in my elephant tonight. Yeah, baby.’ – Pseud Freud
~ I just love grannies. I love their panties even more. ~ If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, and it’s not a boomerang, it’s a fucking miracle. ~ When life throws you lemons, you make lemonade. My life throws me melons. ~ My ex says I’m so bad…
‘I’d be myself if it weren’t so much trouble.’ – Pseud Freud
~ Do not judge a book by its cover. Unless it’s entitled Homeward Harlot or something, then I guess it’s okay. ~ If it’s sleep you need I suggest lying down. Hitting beds and sacks is unnecessarily violent and will only make them resentful. ~ Prostitutes in the Navy! Serving the semen! ~ I’d rather…
‘Balls to sport.’ – Pseud Freud
#Mahut-Isner #Wimbledon ~ Hour 6: Spoiled for choice on TV tonight. One channel shows 22 men all chasing the same ball; another shows 2 men killing themselves over a fuzzy little green one. ~ Hour 7: It doesn’t matter who wins now, does it? Everyone is watching to see who dies first ~ Hour 8:…
‘I’m 35, arrogant and single. Twitter is my life.’ – Pseud Freud
~ Sometimes, I just feel dyslexic. Like own. ~ I tried committing. Suicide. As you can see I failed at that too. ~ Man discovered fire. Woman called the fire department to put it out. ~ Why do people always refer to the ‘weather outside’? When was the last time you experienced a hailstorm in…
“I am my own worst enema.” – Pseud Freud
~ In Uganda, calling a woman ‘fat cow’ is considered a compliment. Do not try this at home. ~ Staying hungry is a bad idea. After a point everything looks good. Later still, everything starts looking like food… Here kitty, kitty. ~ When my eyes get droopy & my mouth drops open in an attractive,…
‘Fuck me. I’m famous.’ – Pseud Freud
~ Lady Gaga’s new video is out. It is yet another traumatic day for television. ~ Britney Spears wants to be frozen in death and brought back to life in the future. If you have children, please, kill them now. ~ It seems everyone is avoiding poor Lindsay Lohan. Even her latest piece of jewellery…
‘Everything is wrong with me.’ – Pseud Freud
~ Then there was that time I misread the signboard and found myself in a Marital Arts class. ~ The Huffington Post claims that women tweet 12% more than men. This now takes a derogatory term like ‘bird’, to mean ‘internet-savvy female’. ~ You call them User Testimonials. I call them old love letters. Potato,…
‘I cannot help it. I am caustic at best.’ – Pseud Freud
~ He said: Hey, by any chance did you get a haircut? I replied: Yes. He went on: Yeah! Coz, it looks shorter now! What I said: No shit, you genius. That IS indeed one of the side effects of a haircut. Who are you anyway, Vidal Sassoon? What I should have said: Yes. ~
Pseud Freud Scrabbles with the new rules
Right so you must have heard that some American geniuses at Mattel have gone and changed Scrabble rules and I have SO much shit to spew on this that I am going to have to enumerate my points, because otherwise I will be chucking my unpleasant sarcastic slime all over the place. #1 So, obviously…
part-broken, part-whole 