Look at this list. Trudgy, preachy, smug even I think. Honestly, I can be pedantic as hell. Maybe it’s something we all are from time to time. This one time I started writing down things that seemed to matter to me. It might have begun as something of a wish list for the kind of love I wanted to attract into my life. What would this person be like? What about them would I find appealing or distasteful? How would I like to be treated? And so on.
It was interesting what transpired: as I wrote I began to understand that this was less about what I wanted in someone else, and actually; quite precisely who I wanted to be myself. These qualities, this articulation, this idea of “goodness” – embarrassing as that sounds – is what I aspired to. This is who I want to be, and am (hopefully) on my way to becoming.
- Know when to leave a party.
- If someone wants you in their life they will make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for your spot.
- Never, ever insist yourself to someone who constantly overlooks your worth.
- Remember that life’s most important lesson is taught in an aircraft: put your own oxygen mask on first and then assist others.
- If you love someone to the point where you ignore your own needs, you’re doing it wrong.
- I can think of a lot of things that are far worse than being fat, short, pimply, hairy or whatever.
Not being kind. That’s one for starters.
- Self-centredness. Discompassion. Materialism. Disrespect. Prejudice.
This is the real ugly.
- I had a huge problem letting go of the past until I realised that my past was now my present and my present was determining my future.
- You know how it feels when someone never lets you forget that one thing you did wrong?
Yeah, you need to stop doing that to others.
- If you’re not happy with the person you are, you will never be happy with the person anyone else is either. And that’s a fact.
- Live and let live. I cannot begin to tell you how liberating it is to not be burdened by things that do not concern you.
- You can’t stay in love with a pretty face or a great figure. Humility, a sense of humour, kindness, gentleness and peace is the new sexy.
- If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you respond to it.
And if you can’t do that, it’s time to go.
- Assume nothing.
- Sorry, but it’s not always about you. People have other stuff going on too. Don’t take everything personally.
Make this a note to yourself.
- Your mind is a fantastic instrument. Please don’t abuse it with harmful substances like gossip, speculation, fear, judgment, and worry.
- Learn the difference between a constructive argument and a slanging match. One is usually louder, senseless, and will have no clear outcome.
- Never miss any chance you get to give someone a compliment.
- Life is too short to be with people who suck the happiness out of you, yo.