Look. When someone decides they do not want to love you anymore there is nothing you can do to change it. So stop.
I have learned the hard and slow way over time that it is less and less about you. It is about how they choose to feel. Months pass and you really don’t figure in their scheme of things other than an inconvenient detail. Like the corner of a table that jabs your hip each time you pass by it, you’re simply painful and in the way of things. There is no dearth of ways to let someone know they are that corner.
Today made me realise that is maybe what I am. And all the missing/crying/wishing/wanting/hoping/waiting isn’t going to change your mind. I guess I should apologise for hurting so loudly. I should say I’m sorry everything I feel finds its way to you. I wish I could make myself disappear as much as you want me gone.
I just don’t know how much more gone one can be. How much more invisible do I need to be? How much further, smaller, lesser, lighter, softer? How much lesser would you have me exist? Perhaps it is kinder to kill what is no longer alive.
To you, I cede. For you, I cease.