I usually blog with words. Once in a while I come across something that defies the need for words. Like today, when I found myself on a Craigslist site of sorts looking at some “For Sale” ads, and came across some really interesting things people were selling.

1.

Just in case you were concerned about the moral temperament of your handheld device, this is good to know. Batteries included.

2.

Flora meets fauna in a crocus panel. As for the Labrador bride, I don’t even…

3.

Right. Gotcha.

4.

Everybody wants one, I know. Get in line bitches. I saw it first.

5.

I REALLY want to know what full parlour items comprise. At least the slimming machine is not a crotchety old sourpuss.

6.

Now I know what it means when you make art from pencil.

7.

You can haz Greek philosophical pigeons, but if you thought you could buy a Dealer, well, I guess not.

8.

I am really interested to know what circumstances could POSSIBLY push you into selling a cup you bought in LA for twenty bucks. Help me. Did you lose the saucer? Have your loyalties shifted to cola? Or are you no longer on speaking terms with your crockery?

9.

You heard the man. If you’re not called Harry, fuck off. Do not waste his time.

10.

Everything you ever needed to know about divans and were too afraid to ask. Let’s be honest: this is a coffee table. For the… garden, apparently.

11.

Pure white eyes for all you zombie livestock aficionados and other dear viewers.

12.

Teeth. Because if you know shit about cows you know oral care is the key to cowdom. Don’t miss who the seller is/ are.