Hello, I’m a Button Pusher. You?

I have a friend who is really more a soultwin to me, and has this beautiful way of making me think by asking the most innocuous but relevant questions I’ve heard. She asked me one day, “M, tell me – what are you? I mean, I know you’re a writer and all that, but what are you, in life? What are you really here for? Your soul’s ‘job’? For example, I am a Seeker of Beauty. It’s what I am organically driven to do. I seek it out everywhere, naturally, subconsciously. In the descent of a red sunset, in the flavour of a mango, in the way a voice sounds when reading poetry. There is beauty to be found everywhere and I am here to find it. You see?”

I did see.

In fact, I knew exactly what she was saying. There’s something really wonderful about considering something you haven’t considered considering before that moment. It’s almost a portal into a fascinating new dimension into your own self. I had to think about this question long and hard and I really didn’t have an answer I was happy with.

“Ideas Architect”. Pretentious load of tripe.

“Emotional Emancipator”. Activates the gag reflex.

“Curator of the Sexy.” Just stab me with a ball point pen now.

This was not as straightforward as I thought. If I thought I knew myself, here was something that was challenging it all over again. What was I? What was I really made to do? I had no clue until 2 days ago. That was when I sat bolt upright in bed past one a.m. with an idea. An idea that would mean asking people to share with me their most sentimental possession, and the story behind it. It wasn’t the first time I had done something like this. Before, I had asked people to write a letter to their 16-year old selves. And then one time, I had asked people to tell me about their ‘saudades‘. All these times, I felt myself come completely alive. And why? Well, not because I am obsessed with and curious about people’s experiences beyond a healthy average. But because the act and the process of instigating them to think and feel, and search, and observe, and consider, and evaluate – feels so very right.


I realise that I am a Button Pusher. I think my soul’s purpose is to push people into acting, reacting, responding. SOMETHING. But that is my job: to catalyze. That was my answer, and although Button Pusher is not half as glamorous as I’d thought I’d end up being, I have to admit, it’s not bad. It sounds a bit gauche, I admit, but it fits well. Like the most comfortable pair of shoes I’ve ever owned.

The other day on Twitter I said, “I am not here to make you happy. I am here to make you think.”

That, I think made me happy.

So, I am asking you now – what do you do? What are you really here to accomplish? Tell me your stories. (By the way, that is my other job – Story Finder, Story Keeper- but we will talk about that another time.)

I’m doing it again, I know. 


18 thoughts on “Hello, I’m a Button Pusher. You?

  1. I don’t think I have an answer for this, but you have definitely done it again, you have made me think. And this is something that I am going to think carefully about, because it mirrors several questions that I have had of late. Thank you for this beautiful post.


      1. I think after much thought, I have come to realise that I am a Tireless Thinker. My purpose in life here is for metacognition, to observe, see, and think about the hows, whys, whats and whens of things. And through that, I hope to write. Change. See. Grow. But the root of all of it is thinking. I’m not entirely sure if it is a good thing, but I think (there I go again) that that’s my soul’s purpose.


  2. Great post again! Well, I had a lot of fancy ideas about what my task was; being the next Einstein was one of those. But now I think it’s to break my own imaginary boundaries….I am doing all those things which I thought of as impossible or improbable. I am scaling my own Mount Everests and loving it. So I think of myself as a Warrior.


  3. I’d like to think my soul’s purpose is to recognize its own freedom (and by association allow room for others to recognize their freedom).
    What a super post, Ms. Button Pusher.


  4. Think me soul was/is made to primarily made to make people look at the other perspective. Especially freewill. And nothing is more funny than freewill. When I die, pretty sure that this body with the name people know me by, will remember me by as being the weird funny one. The one who wanted you to justify your choices just so the kid in me can learn and grow but never does. But listens anyway and questions incessantly till I have all my questions answered.


  5. I’m someone who strives for change. In self.

    Trying to understand the little complexities of what I see in various people. I like to see through a glass the varying character dilemmas and I question myself.

    Always learning, or trying. Or so is the hope.


  6. Anti- “blah-berist” on twitter..and Sutradhar to family and life’s various threads in ‘Real’ life.


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