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I am now being followed by @psychic_advice.
I bet they saw that coming.

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Tell me what to do and I’ll tell you where you can put it.
I’ll even throw in a ‘yo momma’s so fat…’ insult for free.

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Troubled thoughts, self image issues and occasional bouts of OCD.
You can see why I’m such a catch.

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I just read that Wonder Woman finally gets to wear pants.
Now, if they could only get Superman to put his undies on first, we’d be sorted.

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I get loads of dates… I also get loads of calendars.

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Scared of paedophiles?
Just grow up.

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I am usually in such poor taste it’s a surprise I am not on welfare.

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Law 1: Please be respectfully dressed when entering places of worship.
Law 2: Your body is a temple. Fuck Law 1.

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Milk chocolate rules.
Dark chocolate is pretentious.
And white chocolate is… Michael Jackson.

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