“I’ve learned the last month, not to give so much away. Be there and present for others kind and generous but save the best for yourself. There’s no reward in draining yourself for others. They leave with all your stuff and you stand there empty and alone. I’m not saying don’t give until you get. I’m saying like Samuel Reynolds said once, “Make people prove they deserve it first.” You’re worth that.
So that thing that you love about yourself. That thing you know no one can challenge you on. That’s the thing you remember doesn’t walk. That doesn’t go away because some boy or some girl is too silly or stupid or afraid to love you back. You still have that. Forever. There’s no reward in giving it away. Or quieting it to make someone else feel. What good is building them if you take bricks from yourself? The charm of martyrdom must be let go. I’ve said it before: Joan Of Arc didn’t set herself on fire. You shouldn’t hold the match to yourself.
You have to realize that you deserve someone who can’t live without YOU. If they can, they’re not it…
You think that it makes you a good person to give and give and give. And it does. You are. But you have to look at who you’re giving to… Do they deserve you? If the answer is no. If they aren’t matching or exceeding what you offer, there is no excuse. No ‘they had a hard childhood’ or ‘they never learned to love’. Go learn to love and then holler at me. Go get some therapy and then holler at me. I’m not giving you what you don’t have to give me.” – Bassey Ikpi