Every once in a while you slip into one of those, ‘I am losing direction’ phases. How does it happen? Like this.
You wake up, stumble into the shower, get shocked by how cold the water is. And you do this every day and think, ‘When am I going to figure which way the knob turns for head shower and hand?’ You finish showering and realise you’ve forgotten your towel so you exit the bathroom to grab it, freezing, your toes curling with each second spent on the ice cold floor. And then you decide what to wear and think, ‘When am I going to start taking out my clothes the night before so I can avoid this charade each morning?’
You get the picture. It’s a bit of a routine but it mostly means my day is dead before it has time to come alive. It’s at these profoundly simple moments when I ask myself, ‘What is all this all about? What does my life even mean? Where am I going?’ I have no answers.
At some point I hit upon the thought that there is no real meaning to life (and I am sure this wagers an argument but we will get to that at some later point). And I don’t even think life is about where we’re going or even how we’re getting there. I think it has something to do with what exactly we do with ourselves and others along the way. How kind you are to animals, how polite you are to waiters, how patient you are with guy in front of you that’s driving like an a$$@#&!
I think it has something to do with your sense of compassion- if you have any, your sense of humour, your sense of who you are and what your place is in the world. And yes, a good dose of common sense to help you get past the basic day to day tortures of living.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. I am sure ‘life’ is about a lot of things and different things to different people – and I do not know them all. But I do know what it is NOT about and don’t worry I am not going to list them all out here. I guess at some level no matter who we are, where we come from and what we are all about, we all know those things are pretty much the same.
As for me, i am just going to try and figure out how the shower works and probably organise my wardrobe choices in advance. Not because it makes the world a better place to live in, but because it helps me see that the world is not that rotten after all and it just seems that way sometimes because the alarm goes off a little earlier than I expect. I have the luxury of a warm bed, a hot shower and clean clothes every day. I have food, shelter, a job and love. I have life and it doesn’t matter where it’s going.
So that is my Monday morning philosophy. That’s my life. Destination unknown. Coming?