'I'm not coming out until I feel I'm ready, not running out while my heart's unsteady'

‘I still haven’t got over it even now.
I want to spend huge amounts of time on my own.
I don’t want to cause any serious damage.
I want to make sure that I can manage…’

(I want to leave this country; I want to go away for a while. A few years maybe, and come back when I can approach it objectively; when every thing, place, face, song and scent is not a trigger, a flashback, a panic attack, a dismantling…)

‘I see love and disaffection
and the clouds build up and won’t pass over.
This is my road to my redemption.

And my life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway.’

(A time when I can finally return to the places I have exiled myself from deliberately, and not be gutted by the memories they stun me with.)

‘The names may have been changed but the faces are the same
The names may have been changed but as people we’re not the same.’

(Excerpts taken from Rollercoaster by Everything But The Girl)

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