‘The trouble is that in imagination anything can be perfect. Downloaded into real life, it was messy. She was messy. I was messy. I blamed myself. I had wanted to be caught.’

She said, ‘Do you still like having sex?’
‘You talk as though I’ve had an amputation.’
‘I think you have. I think someone has cut out your heart.’

She put out her hand. ‘I want to rescue you.’
‘From what?’
‘From the past. From pain.’
‘The past is only a way of talking.’
‘Then from pain.’
‘I don’t want a wipe-clean life.’
‘Don’t be so prickly.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘What do you want? Tell me.’
‘No compromises.’
‘That’s impossible.’
‘Only the impossible is worth the effort.’
‘Are you a fanatic or an idealist?’
‘Why do you need to label me?’
‘I need to understand.’