It is one great escape. Forget holidays. No packing. No waking up unearthly hours to drive out of town. No homesickness. Forget drugs that fuck up your system, not to mention your head and apparently, may lead to schizophrenia. Forget alcohol which just leads to stupid behaviour and a hangover so bad you wish you could blow your brains out.
Run away horizontally. Close your eyes and descend. There is no hard surface to break your fall. Curl up and sink into yards of body-warmed linens that hold the faint scent of sleepyness. Biscuit-warm and sweetly tinged. Sleep and pray for dreamlessness.
I am practising gratitude. I say thank you for all I have and all that I do not. I say Thank you to Him and to life, and the Universe and everything. It means nothing, I know. But it also means the world, I know. Do that and sleep and when you wake you will see how different it feels.
Going back to the source. Friends have left. Lovers are distant. I am alone. Or so I thought, until I remembered there was a God who would wait for me whenever I called out to Him. So I decided it was time to make that call.
I need to collapse, sleep-like into the arms of something so gigantic, it is imperceivable. I need to sink into the quicksand of safety beneath the surface and hold my breath waiting for my miracle. I am owed one. We all are. I am asking for mine, now.