‘Some days are like this – nothing really gets done and what does get done is pointless. Then, out comes a poem or a cat, or a flower, or a sunburst, or even a good piece of cheese, and the tilted world rights.

I admit it, I am struggling with my life at the moment – not my work life or my inner life, but the how to manage the incessant ignorant demands of senseless life. The bureaucratic nosy-parker form-filling time-wasting email-crazy, texting nightmare, junk sham of life that technology has locked us into. I seem to have spent all day today talking to Call Centres, arranging paperwork for VAT returns, filing receipts, checking out travel data, and it’s the mental equivalent of stuffing your face with Big Macs.’

– Jeanette Winterson
http://www.jeanettewinterson.com

I am in a similar predicament. I too feel an immense struggle but I lack the peace this author seems to have made with life and whatever it may throw at her.

I am unhappy. Tired, emotional, let down and angry. I am terrified of my anger. Terrified of the power it wields over me and my senses. Terrified of what I am capable of saying and doing in the moments it holds me captive. Yes, there are certain aspects of my life that require a relook now. If I ignore them any longer I am setting myself up for another disaster. Inwardly and out.

I admit I am scared of what will change. And perhaps even more afraid of that which will not.