How to Date a White Woman

Ever since yellow-centric blogger Angry Asian Man noted this bizarre book (it’s gotta be a joke, right?): How To Date A White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men” by one Adam Quan, it’s generated some of the most hilarious, gut-busting comments in Amazon this side of the western blogosphere. Really, you gotta check out this hot piece of viral marketing. Here’s some choice samples:

I date white women SUPER COOL! September 16, 2004

Reviewer: William “Very” Hung (Ho-Yip BBQ Duck House, Canal St., New York City)

I buy book, is good. I reed but reed is not great, english of mine so-so. So, anyway I reed what I understand and maybe miss point, but I get black woman! SUPER COOL! I make mistake and end up doing surprise! You don’t believe, but Adam Quan teach you how to dance in book too! Is real! Because I shake so good, black woman say “hey you! Asian! Come here and shake for me!” So now I am going to be baby daddy. I am happy for life! Thanks you Adam Quan!

Not quite sure., September 16, 2004

Reviewer: Mike LaCoss “Buffy” (Mustachia, FL)

The book is easy enough to comprehend, but it’s hard trying to get your Asian girlfriend to sit still while you cover her with marshmallow paste.

oops! , September 16, 2004

Reviewer: aslan the lion! asian the llon!

oh, my mistake, i thought this was “how to drug a white woman.” cause, you know, that was the only way i was able to get white women for the longest time. we asians got it rough. T.T

Why…why…why???, September 15, 2004

Reviewer: Alan -. New Visa “Fart Monstah” (in my bed)

Why you wan date white women? All they do is steal all you money. Drive you fancy car and take them dinner. Marry own kind and be happy. Like my borther William Hung says…SHe bang…she bang.

simply amazing., September 15, 2004

Reviewer: golden boy “golden boy” (korea town)

Well after years of being a total loser, my friends, who seem to get all the ladies, recommended Adam Quan’s book to me… After chapter one titled “Stop being a loser”, I knew this book would change my life 4ever. I promptly finished the book and before I knew it, I had white women all over me, even the red headed ones with freckles everywhere. Not only had I lost my virginity, I had so much sex I thought I had caught and std. Whew! that was close.

I learned from this book that the white woman, is the most prized possesion of minority men, and that all other women are not only useless, but just inferior to the white woman. And I also learned that the quote “that once you go white, you know it’s all right.” Isn’t only the mantra of this book, but that is also rhymes.

thank you mr. quan. thank you for changing my life. thank you for changing this toad into a P- hound… Needless to say, thanks to Mr. Quan, I’m pretty bad….

Micheal Jackson Bad!!

It works!, September 15, 2004

Reviewer: Fairy Meat

I built the machine according to Mr. Quan’s detailed instructions, spliced into the local power grid, and flipped the switch. AMAZING!

My house is now COVERED in white women of every size and age, and more are attracted every day. You can see my house from the expressway now, the pile is so huge.

THANK YOU, Adam Quan! Your machine has truly changed my life, and also the lives of countless others in my immediate vicinity.

-Dr. Lazlo Bonaparte

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