Life is terrible. Really it is. If you think about it, great scientists, doctors and researchers have found cures to some of the worst afflictions to bestowed on humankind- never mind that cancer, AIDS and the common cold have no answers yet- that is not the point. In fact that is a digression i.e. I digress. In fact, I find that I often digress. Actually I digress so often that I digress while digressing. However that is also not the point. My point is: NOBODY has found a cure to the worst disease to afflict mankind, plant-kind and animal-kind (if I have missed out any others, please fill in. Kindly.)
Life! It is fatal! It is deadly! And since we can give it to our children (life, that is) that means it is contagious too! How terrible! Woe is me! (Woe is not really my name but at this juncture, it will do) We are all in some stage of the process of dying. Such a terrible thought. No? If it does not seem terrible, please think about it, deeply. I assure you such concentrated morbid thinking will result in some sort of feeling of terrible-ness.
The point I wanted to make by bringing this up to tell everyone to please refrain from using such terms as:
‘I ate this amazing chocolate cake. I died and went to heaven.’ (what lies. nobody ever went to heaven by eating chocolate cake- unless they were very good, god-fearing people who happened to choke on it) or
‘my dad porn collection in the garage he just died (although he might well die of other related reasons) or
‘If so-and-so sees me in this vomit-coloured outfit, I will SO die!’ or
‘Oh God, that was so funny I died laughing’…
So as you can see from those intelligent examples above it is very important to not take life or death so lightly. So please control your laughter, your sex drive, chocolate cake eating habits and fashion sense and not die in the process. For believe me, you do not need to go looking for death. It will find you one day. Laughing or not.